Любовь бежит от тех, кто гонится за нею, а тем, кто прочь бежит, кидается на шею...
Западные реконструкторы тоже шутят.
This is a humourous list based on other people's experiences and exchanges within my own group; anyone else involved in reenactment please feel free to add to it!
1) When told there's a frog in the garden you panic, check your scabbard, and say; ''Nope, not mine.''
2) When asked what your proudest moment is, it always begins, ''I was the last man standing, and five of them closed in on me..."
3) You list 'champion of fifteen battles consecutively' on your CV and wonder why it fails to impress employers.
4) Norman, Frank and Alan are not names, they're the opening of a description.
5) When asked to describe a fellow member of your group, you can only list their kit. You've forgotten what they actually look like.
6) You know most friend's first names and their heraldry, but can never remember where they live or their second name.
7) You respond to your authentic name faster than your birth name.
8) You watch a history documentary and start pointing out familiar faces.
9) You cheer for 'your side' in a history lecture.
10) You believe anyone knighted for film or music careers are damned upstarts with no real claim to such an awesome title.
11) You find yourself idly discussing tactics in Starbucks, using piles of sugar to denote formations.
12) You keep correcting tour guides when you visit castles and museums.
13) You point at museum exhibits and declare, proudly- ''Just like mine!".
14) You smile on overcast, dry days with a strong breeze and mutter that it's a good day for a battle.
15) You watch the battle of Helm's Deep and wince when it rains, wondering who is going to scour all the armour and weapons.
16) You watch the battle of Helm's Deep and wince when the archers allow the enemy well within optimum range WITHOUT LOOSING.
17) Films such as The Vikings! and El Cid are filed under 'comedy' in your film collection.
18) When watching Kingdom of Heaven you don't remember 2/3rds of the plot because you're busy giving a critical analysis of the kit.
19) You wince when Orlando Bloom kisses the base of his blade, wondering how long it'll take to get the tarnish off.
20) All your friends stink of oil, iron and leather but you don't notice.
21) One of your favourite scents is ''Eau D'WD40''.
22) You glower when someone says 'chain-mail' instead of 'maille' or just naming the garment- like Hauberk or Byrnie.
23) You can't find clean clothing that doesn't date from the 12th century.
24) Your 'DIY projects' include lamellar armour and a crossbow.
25) The men in the local hardware store know you by name, and like to guess at what you're making THIS week.
26) Your children/young relatives correct other children when they're playing swordfighting; ''YOU DON'T STANCE LIKE THAT IT'S LIKE THIS."
27) One of the sweetest things your child/young relative has ever said was ''I'm glad you didn't die- I cheered for you."
28) Most of the neighbourhood know you as the 'local viking'.
29) You've almost walked out of the front door with a sword/ballock dagger/dagger etc. belted to your hip because you forgot it was there.
30) Nobody locally takes it amiss if you return a video to the local store in a tunic and trews.
31) You cried at the end of Gladiator, but didn't see what the deal was at the end of Pay it Forward.
32) Your family go to an armoury for your christmas shopping.
33) When asked what you got for christmas, most answers are in obscure, archaic french.
34) You have an extensive set of beeswax, goose-grease and polishing equipment, yet your day-to-day shoes are scuffed beyond belief.
35) You know now not only to avoid the bearded man offering the younger reenactors dark suspicious drinks out of a horn/goblet, but you are in fact that bearded man.
36) Camping involves a skillet or it doesn't happen.
37) You refer to a knuckle lain open to the bone as 'nothing', but a dent in the crown of your new helm draws a terrible scream of anguish.
38) You have more blades in your bedroom than in the kitchen.
39) You are up-to-date on all politics- the date is just a few hundred years back...
40) Your family pet is named after a historical figure, like Taliefier or Attila.
This is a humourous list based on other people's experiences and exchanges within my own group; anyone else involved in reenactment please feel free to add to it!
1) When told there's a frog in the garden you panic, check your scabbard, and say; ''Nope, not mine.''
2) When asked what your proudest moment is, it always begins, ''I was the last man standing, and five of them closed in on me..."
3) You list 'champion of fifteen battles consecutively' on your CV and wonder why it fails to impress employers.
4) Norman, Frank and Alan are not names, they're the opening of a description.
5) When asked to describe a fellow member of your group, you can only list their kit. You've forgotten what they actually look like.
6) You know most friend's first names and their heraldry, but can never remember where they live or their second name.
7) You respond to your authentic name faster than your birth name.
8) You watch a history documentary and start pointing out familiar faces.
9) You cheer for 'your side' in a history lecture.
10) You believe anyone knighted for film or music careers are damned upstarts with no real claim to such an awesome title.
11) You find yourself idly discussing tactics in Starbucks, using piles of sugar to denote formations.
12) You keep correcting tour guides when you visit castles and museums.
13) You point at museum exhibits and declare, proudly- ''Just like mine!".
14) You smile on overcast, dry days with a strong breeze and mutter that it's a good day for a battle.
15) You watch the battle of Helm's Deep and wince when it rains, wondering who is going to scour all the armour and weapons.
16) You watch the battle of Helm's Deep and wince when the archers allow the enemy well within optimum range WITHOUT LOOSING.
17) Films such as The Vikings! and El Cid are filed under 'comedy' in your film collection.
18) When watching Kingdom of Heaven you don't remember 2/3rds of the plot because you're busy giving a critical analysis of the kit.
19) You wince when Orlando Bloom kisses the base of his blade, wondering how long it'll take to get the tarnish off.
20) All your friends stink of oil, iron and leather but you don't notice.
21) One of your favourite scents is ''Eau D'WD40''.
22) You glower when someone says 'chain-mail' instead of 'maille' or just naming the garment- like Hauberk or Byrnie.
23) You can't find clean clothing that doesn't date from the 12th century.
24) Your 'DIY projects' include lamellar armour and a crossbow.
25) The men in the local hardware store know you by name, and like to guess at what you're making THIS week.
26) Your children/young relatives correct other children when they're playing swordfighting; ''YOU DON'T STANCE LIKE THAT IT'S LIKE THIS."
27) One of the sweetest things your child/young relative has ever said was ''I'm glad you didn't die- I cheered for you."
28) Most of the neighbourhood know you as the 'local viking'.
29) You've almost walked out of the front door with a sword/ballock dagger/dagger etc. belted to your hip because you forgot it was there.
30) Nobody locally takes it amiss if you return a video to the local store in a tunic and trews.
31) You cried at the end of Gladiator, but didn't see what the deal was at the end of Pay it Forward.
32) Your family go to an armoury for your christmas shopping.
33) When asked what you got for christmas, most answers are in obscure, archaic french.
34) You have an extensive set of beeswax, goose-grease and polishing equipment, yet your day-to-day shoes are scuffed beyond belief.
35) You know now not only to avoid the bearded man offering the younger reenactors dark suspicious drinks out of a horn/goblet, but you are in fact that bearded man.
36) Camping involves a skillet or it doesn't happen.
37) You refer to a knuckle lain open to the bone as 'nothing', but a dent in the crown of your new helm draws a terrible scream of anguish.
38) You have more blades in your bedroom than in the kitchen.
39) You are up-to-date on all politics- the date is just a few hundred years back...
40) Your family pet is named after a historical figure, like Taliefier or Attila.